Loneliness is a funny emotion. It’s like a dull ache that doesn’t ever seem to really go away. It sits like a gremlin in the dark corners of your heart, ready to jump out when you’re most vulnerable.
Despite so much joy in life I still find that it’s so easy to feel “lonely”.
But what is loneliness? What is happiness?
Somebody asked me the other day, “are you happy?”
I don’t know, I guess it depends on your definition of happiness or what you’re really looking for.
- Am I real with myself and face myself every day and strive to deal with the ebbs and flows of life? Yes.
- Am I less pulled and tossed around by life these days than ever? Yes.
- Do I still struggle, though, with loneliness and body image and food issues at times? Yes.
- Do I miss my family and friends at home? Yes.
- Do I have amazing friends here, though? Yes.
- Do I still cry? Yes.
- Do I feel like I can’t do it sometimes? Yes.
- Am I happy? Yes.
I’ve come to realize happy is not perfect. It doesn’t mean you have it all figured out or you don’t have pain.
Actually, quite the opposite. It often means you are in the thick of it but you are dealing with it like a champ. You are rolling with the punches every day, you are real with yourself, honest with yourself, and every day you pick yourself up and strive to do better.
For me, I stopped falling into the “poor me” and stopped thinking that the world owed me anything anymore. If anything, I realized that I owed the world something – I owed the world to do my best and help the people around you. I realized that we all feel lonely and sad and hurt and angry and happy sometimes. We all feel it all and that’s OK.
I realized that it’s OK to be vulnerable and hurt and confused. I realized that it’s OK not to have it all figured out – I realized that this feeling of loneliness is common and also eating many of us alive.
So this is just the start of the conversation. But I want to talk more about this and I’m going to write more about this.