I sit on my bed and stare onto the pink walls of my childhood room and wonder if there was something that I could do differently, or I wonder why I feel feelings so deeply.
I oftentimes wish I was one of those people that just kind of be-bopped through life, happy to experience whatever came my way, enjoying a beautiful sunshine-y day or a snowy day alike. But I’m not. And in the end, I’m glad I’m not.
Though some days are still hard, and some days I struggle to find the bigger meaning in everything, I wouldn’t actually change it for the world. This is my role in life and I know that now; when it really comes down to it I would rather feel these deep feelings than numb them.
I am glad that I can feel life so deeply because it gives me the ability to truly love others and have empathy for the world around me.
This deep kind of love makes me feel as if my heart is exploding with love; a beautiful kind of gift. A gift I wouldn’t trade for the world. It took me a long time to truly come to this conclusion, that this was a gift instead of a burden. How did I finally get to this space through all of the painful days, the anxiety, and the depression?
I started asking myself some probing questions that truly helped me embrace this gift instead of rejecting it.
The following may differ for you, but one thing’s for sure: start asking yourself these questions and you’ll begin to discover your inner power you always knew was there.
Step 1: What can I learn from this pain?
There’s a reason that I can feel things so deeply, and I truly believe that for me, it’s so I can relate to the world around me. I am empathetic and I love to love people. Even when someone isn’t my most favorite person in the world (we all have them!) I can still find something I love about them or acknowledge a positive trait that I don’t possess.
Remembering the bigger picture is the first step to getting out of this space.
Step 2: What am I grateful for?
OK, yup, I don’t feel good and I want to be more successful and have a family, travel more and have a perfect body, but guess what? I am so completely and entirely blessed. I have an amazing amount of stability and love in my life. I’ve never wanted for food or money or felt like I couldn’t turn to someone for help. I have a strong body that gets me from place to place in a beautiful and efficient manner. I can go hiking and play with my nieces and nephews. My mind is sharp and fresh. I am truly blessed.
Slowly I emerge from the heaviness feeling lighter and happier.
Step 3: What are the things that I know for sure? What are my ultimate truths?
Lastly, and this goes along with #2, I like to think about the things that I know for sure. I know that we are part of something bigger, bigger than I can even comprehend, that this one small moment of suffering and pain is going to pass and even tomorrow it won’t really matter. I have a family who loves me and a roof over my head. I have food on the table. I am healthy and fit and I am able to do virtually anything I want and need to. I have everything I need and the support to go along with it.
These things I know for sure. When I remember this, I find myself in a completely different space than when I started asking these questions. I emerge bright, as if I turned my internal light back on. Onward we can then walk, truly ready to offer the world exactly what we were meant to give.