How to find connection when you feel lonely and discouraged in life

It’s easy to feel disconnected, lonely, and discouraged as we move through our day to day lives, sometimes unable to see the bigger picture around us. I know this well; I’ve been there, and still experience these emotions from time to time.

When I was a little girl I always had this image of a spiderweb threading across the sky, wrapping the world in a net of love. I remember thinking to myself:

“Somehow, this is all connected. We are all connected. I guess that’s the point of life.”

As I’ve grown older I’ve questioned many times the meaning of life, what I’m supposed to be doing, and what the point of it all is. I guess my 6-year-old self (or somewhere around there) was wiser than I thought – because I continue to come back to this same thought, to the beginning:

We are all connected, we all need and want to feel special and loved, and that’s really what it’s all about.

But what do you do when you feel disconnected and lonely, like there’s no hope?

There are a couple of simple practices that I’ve established in my life that have made all the difference, that always lift me out of these dark holes, as I call them.

I hope they help you too.

1.Give what you want to receive

I’m starting with this, because one of the most beneficial things I’ve ever implemented was giving love when I wanted love. At the lowest point in my life, I was starving for love and thought that no one cared. I finally heeded my parents’ advice and started to give what I wanted to receive. The moment I started reaching out to others, the love came back 10-fold, and I couldn’t be more grateful.

Whatever it is that you want, give it to someone else and see how it comes back to you in even more abundance than you ever could have dreamed.

2. Look people in the eyes when you’re talking to them (not in a creepy way of course!)

It can be scary and nerve-wracking to look someone in the eyes, but the eyes are a window to the soul, as they say. Making eye contact helps the other person know you truly care, as well as helps you concentrate on the situation at hand. It’s easy to be talking to someone and start thinking about your to-do lists, but when you’re really looking someone in the eye, both of you will feel more connected, loved, and cared about.

3. Figure out people’s love languages

If you’ve never heard of love languages, you can read about it here.

To give you a quick rundown, they are: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch.

Many of us are a combination of a couple of them, but most people are primarily one or another. For example, if your love language is receiving gifts and you assume everyone else’s is too, even if you are giving a gift to someone they might not realize that this is your attempt at connecting and showing them love.

In contrast, if their love language is words of affirmation, it might be better to write them a note or tell them that they’re doing a great job. When you speak “their language” they will feel loved, and in turn you will feel more connected and loved as well.

4. Focus on your heart (through meditation, prayer, or whatever practice you use)

I know I know, preaching meditation again, but I can’t help but include it here, as it is one of the most powerful tools we have. In life, what we focus on in life, we get. When you focus on your heart through meditation (or prayer or simply just a deep concentration), you will find a profound understanding and love for yourself and in turn be able to extend that on to others around you.

5. Smile, laugh, and remember we’re all trying our best

(If it helps just imagine everyone as little babies and then it’s easier to have compassion 🙂 )

I truly do believe that we are all trying our best. Even if we know it’s not our best, there’s usually something preventing us from really upping our game and getting to that next level. When you can remember this it becomes unbelievably simple to find love, compassion, and connection with the world around you.

To sum it all up, when I started to implement these things in my life, I realized we are all walking on this Earth, looking for purpose and connection, a way to feel special and loved.

When I realized this and found the love within my own heart for myself, feeling connected to the world became simple, easy, and bountiful.

<3 Let me know how YOU connect to the world – or if you try these out, let me know how it goes 🙂 I would love to hear from you!